I have always wanted to start a site. I wanted to talk about my life but I contemplated. Then I met Jay. Then I wanted to start a site for us. But I procrastinated. More than two years later, this is what I have now, a humble beginning. Just like any couples, we have been through many good and hard times together and this is one reason what this site is for: to put down our story in writing. So that this blog will witness our existence and hopefully we can flip through the archives one day and laugh at the silly things we did and be touched by Jay's heroic deed. Hi, I am Kay, we are boyfriends and this is the our story.
I'm Kay
Male. Smart and sentimental. 26yo. Enjoys movies (and porn) and reality shows. Sleeper. Uptight. Likes Robbie Williams. Has been to Singapore. Ogles at men. Just wants to be happy. Prefers to wear boxers. Selfless.
I'm Jay
Male. Sexy and studly. 29yo. Loves sushi and everything meat. Swimmer. Forgetful. Likes House music. Travels world over. Ogles at Kay. Want to be rich but not necessary famous. Likes not to wear underwear. Selfish.
Lie, while you’re even early Deny, that you’re in any hurry Cry, and tell me not to worry ‘Cause what I don’t know, is never gonna hurt me
Breathe, now baby don’t feel guilty Deceive me, then just walk away Leave me, the truth will only kill me It’s gotta be, it’s gotta be this way
One more bad excuse Before you turn me lose Give me something to remember you by Couldn’t you offer me A little dishonesty Promise me you’ll try You’ll lie to me
Go, your plane is not gonna stay Slow, so I can take it in And so you say you’ll see me later When you know you won’t see me again
Please before you let go of me Take me one more time Appease me, tell me that you love me That you haven’t gone and change your mind
One more bad excuse Before you turn me lose Give me something to remember you by Couldn’t you offer me A little dishonesty Promise me you’ll try You’ll lie to me
Lie, while you’re even early Deny, that you’re in any hurry Cry, and tell me not to worry ‘Cause what I don’t know, is never gonna hurt me
One more bad excuse Before you turn me lose Give me something to remember you by Couldn’t you offer me A little dishonesty Promise me you’ll try You’ll lie to me
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Mew, On Loneliness
"I'm frighteningly lonely. It’s not easy at all, because the longer my grandma is gone, the more I miss her.
So I have one question.
If we can love someone so much how will we be able to handle it the one day when we are separated? And, if being separated is a part of life, and you know about separation well, is it possible that we can love someone and never be afraid of losing them?
At the same time I was also wondering is it possible that, we can live our entire life without loving anyone at all? That’s my loneliness.
I have lived with it now for 5 years, I know just how bad loneliness feels. I fear it wil continue to get worse.”
Will You Hold My Hands If I Hold It Up For You
If I told you that this song was meant for you, would you believe me? It may not sound as beautiful as other songs You may not know that love songs couldn’t be written out If we didn’t have the feelings of love But for you sweetheart, it all came out easily
You may heard thousands of love ballads Some may touch your heart, Though they mean nothing more But you’ll know when you listen to this song It was meant just for you You would know by heart what I meant And we would be there for each other
Let the song play while we are walking together on the path, All I hear is just the voice of you and me We'll be together for so long As mentioned in the poetry That where there is love, there is always hope Your love has lightened up my heart You are my destiny
Love holds up many truths to look for And I have wasted my lifetime searching for them But not so long ago, I realized when I am close to you If my life is a rhythm You're the beautiful lyrics to this song that has touched my heart
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Monochrome
Dilemma aside, ever wondered that turning images into black and white, plus adjusting its contrast, could make photos look so good?
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
To Bare Or Not To Bare
What would you do if you're being approached and offered to model for an ad? Do you contemplate on the near nudity part or just go ahead with the big paycheck agreed on?
Is there a moral dilemma here?
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
After So Long
Finally his apartment is ready and I offered help to help him move into his new abode. Along with his brother we traveled about 5 times to and fro from his old room to the new place just to transfer all his stuff. (He has more pairs of shoes than my mum and sis both added up!) It was pleasant spending the afternoon with him, more so when his brother left in the evening, leaving just us two trying to figure out how to assemble some pieces of furniture we bought earlier. There were teases here and there as we talked and joked but at times there are moments which were very silent. I wished I could just pour my heart out but I held back. I wished I could hug him but I feared that he wouldn't want to hug back. I could also sense that he was checking me out head to toe when I wasn't looking, probably as much as I realised he is way hotter now. Ah, the sexual tension. We cleaned and sorted the place in the evening until I got a call which left me no choice but to leave. I told him I needed to go and he instantly offered to walk me out to my car but my stupid brain decided to think otherwise and told my mouth to utter words that rejected his offer.
'It's okay. I can go down myself. See you again.'
And that was it. I wanted to give him a hug but before I had the guts to do so, the elevator's door opened, I walked into it, saw him turn his back and walked away as the elevator's door closes.
Friendship is supposed to grow stronger, last longer. Barely only 3 months after an accident, he is called to go home. I wished I could have known him better and should have kept in touch with him these last few days but my work tied me down so I only spoke to him just 2 days before he passed away. I regret and hate myself for not knowing my priorities.
His sister passed me a personal note written by him.
**********
Hi sweetie!
If you read this it’s because I’m in heaven. Yes, in heaven, because I know I will go there and I’ll meet you there one day, in many, many years, because you are going to live a very long and happy life before you come and meet me.
I’m so happy to have met you and I promise that I will take care of you from heaven. I will pray for you and I will look after you from there. I promise that. I haven’t seen or touched you physically in this world but I will in heaven. And will party surrounded by glory!
Please, live happily because I don’t like sadness. Sadness is for those who lose hope and we have to bear in mind that this life is full of wonderful events and hope. And full of great people like you! Always remember you are unique: the only human being like you that exists and without which this world would be totally different. You’re a masterpiece. We all are. God’s rare and fragile masterpieces! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your love, your support and your patience with me throughout these past months. I learned to cherish and love you. I learned to observe and to dwell in peace. I learned that one must live every instant as if it were the last one and to give out as much love to others as one can. Make your heart a home for every loving thought, as you have done with me. I will always bless you. Whatever you do, do it with love.
Don’t cry, don’t be sad. I’m going to a place, I’m sure, where Spring is always bright, breezy and warm and where love will always surround me. I’m prepared. I’ve told my mom, my sisters and friends like you that I take nothing with me but love. I’m so full of happiness and gratitude. I feel so warm inside my heart. I’ll be there for you always. When you look up to heaven I’ll be the brightest star for you and I’ll shine to make you smile, to always comfort you, to always remind you we’re not alone. God dwells right inside us, warming our souls with His light and helping us to grow, to live, to love.
I’ll see you there. I’ll be right inside your heart as you are right inside mine. I won’t say good-bye, I’ll just say “See you” in around 100 years! And when you come I’ll lead you so you won’t get lost! I want you to live happy, full of love and full of blessing. You are part of that marvelous landscape that I’ll carry with me throughout eternity.