You have my respect Kay. You have shown great strength in front of them. You are doing this for Jay, and your love is unquestionable.

All the best to you, may you find a person who's truly deserving of your extraordinary love.
 

awh... Kay, i hope u all the best.. I'm truly admire ur courage to face it and also the ability of u being able to set someone free to find their own happiness and being happy about it..

U truly deserve the one that really can walk the the life together with u forever..

Good to hear u able to go through this.. stay strong!
 

It's obvious your devotion for Jay shines in every part of your blog, in every sentence that you write.

It's obvious (well, just from one point of view) that you've done absolutely everything you could have (to the best of your ability and knowledge) to save this relationship. For that, I applaud you. It takes a special person to be able to do all that.

Most importantly you must take away lessons from this episode. It's quite disturbing to read that you guys have a "secretive relationship" that "no one knows" and that you're not out to anyone. This kind of relationship, if carried out long-term, can very well be stifling for any normal person, no matter how devoted. And when a new, exciting opportunity presents itself, well, all of us are only human.

You've already laid out some reasons why you think things happened the way it did. Chances are, Jay's not telling you the whole story. People who initiate break up usually never do. But that's because they still have feelings for you, see.

Maybe one day you'll get back together, older, wiser and stronger than before. Maybe you won't.

But whatever it is, love yourself first. Take up Jay's suggestion to better yourself...it's a really good idea and God knows who you might meet along the way.
 

You have a really big heart, Kay.
The most important thing I've read in previous comments is "...love yourself first".
Because you have a lot of love to bring, take some part of it for yourself. You deserve it, and that's the best way to love others... when the time comes.

I've been reading you for a long time, and be sure I will do in the future... we all have a lot to learn from you.

Best wishes from Spain.
 

agree...love yourself first...and don't forget we love you too much. everywhere on this planet there are people who loves you and cares for you. we are just two of them from Istanbul.
kisses
ali & mehmet
 

Jay moves on, so must you...

You may cherish the past but not linger on it.

Live Strong.

rgds
shine
 

"Jason was apologetic. He said that if he knew Jay was attached, he wouldn't have interfered" - That bastard Jay didn't say anything ? Obviously Jay did not value his relationship with you so he flirts a little bit blah blah blah - You might as well kick that bastard Jay out.
 

From the first time I came across your blog from the link on Wingedman's site, I've since been hooked on your beautiful entries, which often showcases the love and respect that you both have for each other.

The both of you showed me that it's possible, even in our ever-challenging path.

Although it saddens me to see things end up this way, but I guess Wingedman is right. Pick up the pieces and move on. Continue to strive and improve yourself and who knows what might happen in the future.

The only thing certain about the future is its' uncertainty.

It's tough and it's gonna be real hard to let go, but I'd like to see it that it was him who lost you, and not the other way round.

Stay strong. The sun will shine after the rain.
 

Likewise,

Everyone here is there for you if you wanna hang out, shopping, go clubbing, talk...

Wings_alert
 

How could he keep a 3-year relationship with you secret from his gay friends? If I was dating you I would brag about it to everyone.
 

Hey Kay:

You will make it through. I can guarantee it. As you may remember from my own blog, I went through a similar situation just a few months ago in January.

You seem to be handling this far better than I did and I applaud you for that. I am proof that no matter what you will be fine in the end.

I remember feeling like my life was over and that there was no me without my ex boyfriend.

Three months later, however, I am stronger than I ever was. I can also say that I am truly enjoying life. I've made many great friends recently and I feel like the world is at my fingertips. Everything just seems to be going my way.

You will get there eventually babe. I too am an avid reader and you seem to be an extremely caring, smart and kind person. Anyone would be lucky to have you.

So hold your head up high for you are truly special. If I can recognize this from all the way in the USA, surely you can as well.

Always beleive in yourself.

Finally, these songs below really helped me through my rough patch. Maybe they will make you feel better as well:

Through the Rain by Mariah Carey
Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield (my fave)

J
 

This comment refers to last three posts, really. I think the private (secret) relationship was good for that phase in your life. But now Jay's career is developing, it's like going outside and down to the beach after being indoors before; so unless you move with him, Kay, his relationship with you kind of symbolises being stuck back indoors again which could understandably seem a bit stifling by comparison.

Maybe he could have included you more with his other friends and emerging life, or maybe you could have moved yourself more - there's not much point in apportioning blame, and there's probably a bit of blame on both sides anyway. That doesn't really matter.

Jason's apologies are no dearer than ditchwater, I treat that with the contempt it deserves. Can't see him lasting long, he'll be off as soon as he 'talent-spots' some other guy, pah.

But yeah, if you can stay friends with Jay and go on being part of his life, your relationship has a good chance of growing into a really good long-lasting friendship. And maybe he'll come to value that even more as time goes by (once he can get his self-centred ego-tripping head out of his own arse lar ... no no, just kidding lar ... kind of ;oP ) *hugs*
 

First of all, thank you soo much for sharing your stories, both of you. I'm sure that many of the readers here have something similar going on and at least they have your entries to relate to.

It is sad to see that after 3 years, things between you two have to end. I feel your pain too but one must move on.

3 cheers for you Kay for being brave and 3 cheers for the both of you for what you guys had.
 

No, you can't make him stay. And it's awfully big of you to wish for his happiness. And if you can cherish the good times in spite of everything, better still. There are more good memories to be made for you. Your devotion to a person will see to that.
 

dear Jay

no words of comfort from us will lessen the pain deep within. Only you will understand that feeling now.

Do take sometimes off if u need to do some reconsolidation of mine.

breaking up is not the end of thy world. we readers do hope to see u arise again from this situation soon. arise and become a STRONGER and BETTER Jay

peace,
e
 

Kay,

I'd love for you to share your stories and experience with my listeners. I have a podcast specifically targeting gay listeners, especially from Malaysia. I've sent you an email. I hope you'll be able to to do so.

We, the gay community, especially in the Asian community need to share our stories. I'm sure your blog has already touched a lot of people. It'd be very generous if you'd chat with my on my show.

http://OnglinePodcast.com is a voice from a minority. Stories told are definitely not minor.

John Ong (fellow gay Malaysian...in the USA now)