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About Us
I have always wanted to start a site. I wanted to talk about my life but I contemplated. Then I met Jay. Then I wanted to start a site for us. But I procrastinated. More than two years later, this is what I have now, a humble beginning. Just like any couples, we have been through many good and hard times together and this is one reason what this site is for: to put down our story in writing. So that this blog will witness our existence and hopefully we can flip through the archives one day and laugh at the silly things we did and be touched by Jay's heroic deed. Hi, I am Kay, we are boyfriends and this is the our story.
I'm Kay  Male. Smart and sentimental. 26yo. Enjoys movies (and porn) and reality shows. Sleeper. Uptight. Likes Robbie Williams. Has been to Singapore. Ogles at men. Just wants to be happy. Prefers to wear boxers. Selfless.
I'm Jay  Male. Sexy and studly. 29yo. Loves sushi and everything meat. Swimmer. Forgetful. Likes House music. Travels world over. Ogles at Kay. Want to be rich but not necessary famous. Likes not to wear underwear. Selfish.
jayandkay [at] gmail [dot] com
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Monday, April 03, 2006
Please Don't Give Up Hope On Us Yet I managed to invite Jay out for dinner last night. We went to somewhere further than where he stayed as he didn't want to frequent the usual places. I thought it was romantic of him to suggest somewhere else. We talked about many things and many issues but never touched on our relationship. He didn't want to. Contrary to him, all I wanted to was to clear my doubts on our relationship. There were times where I remained quiet and stared at him but he quickly brought up a subject to talk about or asked me opinions on the food, weather, and other petty stuff. I knew he was trying to avoid the uneasiness and any conflict should it arise. I'm glad we did the dinner. Getting to meet him and see him in person delighted me. You never know my feeling of joy when Jay presence is felt. On the way back I wanted to hold his hand in the car but he refused to allow me. Before dinner I stopped by at his place and he was about to go shower but instead of undressing in the room, he took his towel and went to the bathroom straight and shower as if he's embarrassed. It's so hard for me...I felt that he's trying to keep a distant from me. He's that near to me but we seemed so apart. I'm like a stranger to him. When I reached home I gave him a call before I sleep and I told him how I felt and asked why he was treating me that way. Eventually we had a very, very honest conversation and I realized that the underlying reason for the break is that he's tired of worrying for me and waiting for me to progress. The fact is that there has been numerous times he told me that I should move on with another new job, get a car, join the gym...go achieve something! He believes that I shouldn't always be contented with my current life and should find ways to be more competent. In a way I have to agree with him too and I have made little changes. In a bigger view, I'm still the way I was when I met Jay 3 years ago. Jay, on the other hand, has grown and achieved many things in his life. We have been through tough times together and I've seen the changes Jay made to his life as we celebrated them together. He thinks that I should deserve a better job environment. He wants the best for me but I was reluctant to move on I guess. I'm just tired of this. Tired of waiting for you to change. I'm worried that if one day I'm not able to be there for you, I don't know what you'll do. I want you to be competent. And don't worry about Jason, maybe one day I'll tell him that I don't have feelings for him. He's not for me. You know I love you and I've advised you many times to take action on your life. It's very suffocating for me to everytime having to think about your well-being, make sure you're doing fine and worry if you're not. I feel like being strangled. And I'm tired of this. I want to be relieved of the noose. I want to breathe. I will, I promise dear. Please don't say you're tired. It sounds like you're giving up hope on us. I'm sorry for having you to go through that. Just give me one more try. I'm really tired. Sorry. Go to sleep okay? We'll see how when you're ready.Just don't think too much about this. I'll always be with you, you know that. Will talk to you soon. Dear...I want to let you know that when you're not around me, that's when I feel suffocated.
Comments:
oK, I dont really want to pass judgement over anybody based on whats written, but I've gotta do it once.
That's a truly lame reason to break up with someone. It's like you spent a night thinking about what went wrong, and decided that it mustnt be me, so it must be you. And what about you? Yes yes, it must be your lack of initiative in life that's making me fall out of love with you. It's gotta be that, I mean what else could it be? L.A.M.E Everyone's imperfect. And if the love of your life annoys you with certain imperfection in his life, you'll get worked up but it will not bring you to the edge of a break up. Because you know deep inside, you love him for who he is, not who he isnt. Pack your bags Kay. I'm sorry if this is offensive to you, but I've heard that shitload of excuse far too many times it isnt funny anymore. K
hey sweety , check your mailbox. i wrote something really long but in short way i'm kinda agree with ken.
# posted by
 : 5:12 AM, April 04, 2006
This is indeed a very strange comment to come from Jay.
True, I agree that a relationship is supposed to grow and develop. Both persons should be able to achieve more than he is alone. But to say that one isn't growing or growing fast enough feels ... wrong (at least to me). Sure, Jay feels that you're not competent and has to worry about you, but shouldn't it make him more determine to be with you to make sure you grow, and not otherwise? I also agree with Ken. I think there is another reason, the actual one. However, if this is really THE reason, then I don't have anything to say. Just my point of view. Still, I hope that the underlying issues, whatever they are, can be resolved soon. *hugs*
Hey Kay:
I'm not here to agree with anyone or give you advice. I just want to say that i'm truly sorry for what you are currently going through. I really hope that you will be ok no matter what happens. Sincerely, J.
This is just horrible. I'm more than a little suspicious about the whole thing. I don't know what to say but I hope things will turn out alright for you.
I agreed with Ken too...
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However hope everything will be fine! Just move on.. and be more optimistic and at the same time, plan for yourself if something really going bad... |
